The last 2 months, work/business  has been going from bad to worse. The  recession has finally kicked me on the head, really hard. Yep, I think I’m going mad! Where’s Achmed when you need him? Read only if you’re interested to know :)

Where is all my crazy funky ideas that I use to have? What am I suppose to do this time? I don’t think I want to fall down just yet. I’m on the brink of a career disaster and I am not ready for failure, not just yet. I have never failed, not even once. I have so much to learn and to try. It’s already been 3 years now that I started all this and believe me, I have fought the impossibles. I have been laughed at too many times but here I am still standing. You say I got no balls? I fought you. You say I’m crazy & stupid trying to do the impossible? I fought you. I’m pretty sure to you, I’m here talking & boasting about myself but to be honest, there are times when I feel like crying because the pressure is just way too much for me to handle. I’m just a little man trying to prove that I am capable of living my own life the way I want it to be. With that, I have become 1000 times better than I was when I first started. I have the ultimate knowledge which not a lot of people would get or experienced. I have spent countless nights working & plotting for a better game, a better future. I am what you call a “One Man Show”.  Yeah sounds big right but It isn’t actually. But with all that I have experienced, why does it seem like I’m still falling down? Where is all these ideas I use to have? What seems to be the problem? Am I getting old? Or am I just too exhausted of the game? Or am I just out of my league?

I’m just a simple guy trying to live the dream. Isn’t that what everyone wants to achieve? Developing yourself to become the best at what you do and the best at what you can become of? There’s so many questions running & jumping inside my brain. I just don’t know what’s the best option/decision for me right now.

WHERE THE FUCK IS GUIDANCE WHEN YOU NEED THEM THE MOST?

Where the fuck are you, man? Come out you little shit.

ARGH! This is depressing. This is suffering. I’m hating it. If god is beside me then please I beg of you, show me the way. Show me where the path to the light is. Where the fuck are you Guidance? I need something. Just a little something to turn everything around and get back on track.

If nothing happens then I’m just another loser. I didn’t come from a rich family nor do I even have a diploma in my hand. What am i suppose to do in 2 months if I go down?

The real truth is, I don’t know man. I’m not praying for hope. Really I’m not.  I’m really sad & I’m really lost, but then again, I’m just trying to force things to go my way.  Wanna walk with me side by side? Cuz, well It’s been too long I walked by myself you see. I’m not asking much but we’ll see how the ending will be together, okay? :)